Deacon Mike's Broken Body Angels Page

The Great Sphynx of Egypt has, over the years,
Lost her nose.
Venus de Milo has no arms,
And the Liberty Bell sports a great, wide crack.
And yet each of these is considered to be a thing of beauty,
A standard of perfection.
And so it must be that we do not,
as one might imagine,
Look to perfection in order to see beauty,
But rather, we look to beauty,
And thereby see perfection.
- Joanne Green

How To Dance In The Rain

It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80s, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am. I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.
While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.I inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease. As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.
I was surprised, and asked him, "And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?" He smiled as he patted my hand and said, "She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is."
I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, "That is the kind of love I want in my life." True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.
With all the jokes and fun that is in e-mails, sometimes there is one that comes along that has an important message. This one I thought I could share with you.
The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.
"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."

Thinking about adopting special needs children? Here are a few of the many benefits!

1. No surprises: You know from the start just how bad it might be.
Many parents adopt a child they think is perfectly healthy, only to find out down the road that there are serious problems. Adopting a child with identified special needs lets you hit the ground running.

2. Most special-needs parents don't have social workers coming by with suggestions.
Follow-ups and home visits may seem invasive and unnecessary, but since there's no getting out of them, use them to your advantage. We thought we could do things alone. No way. You will get some useful advice on where to find services and support.

3. No guilt that your personal genes or prenatal care caused your child's problems.
Skip right over the grief or shame and go directly to getting the appropriate diagnosis and help.

4. Exempt from one-upmanship contests at adoption agency reunions.
You know those moms: the ones who are so invested in getting a perfect baby that they practically launch into a chorus of "Anything yours can do mine can do better!" You can sit out that competition, smug in your grasp of the important things in life.

5. Stick it to the insurance company!
Think of all the benefits you would have wasted if you'd adopted a healthy child! Might as well take that HMO for everything you can get.

6. If you get to the end of the day and everybody's alive, that was a good day.
Perhaps at one time you had goals for yourself -- exercising, reading, losing weight, getting your offspring ready for a good Ivy League college. Adopt a child with special needs, and your priorities will change for the simpler, pronto.

7. Typical child development? BO-ring!
Most moms just learn about whether to feed a cold or a fever. You'll learn enough to qualify you for a life experience degree in pediatrics.

8. Good chance that your child won't "get it" when people are rude about adoption.
"What happened to his real parents?" "Do you have any children of your own?" People say the darnedest things about adoption, often right in front of your child. If your child has special needs that affect her communication skills, she'll likely remain blissfully oblivious. (You should be so lucky.)

9. People will be under the impression that you're a saint -- HA!
Oh, sure, you'll want to set them straight, and swear that you're the blessee, not the blesser. They won't believe you. If only they knew!

10. Medical bills? Costly. Making a difference in the life of a child? Priceless.

If you want a perfect baby to complete some vision you have of your ideal family ... then, come to think of it, you probably shouldn't adopt at all. But if you want a truly transformative experience that will change you and your child into a new entity altogether -- a real, working, struggling, striving, conquering, all-for-one one-for-all team -- consider adopting a child with special needs. You'll make an enormous difference for your child, and your child will return the favor.

Reflections